“We’re criminals, Alfred. We’ve always been criminals, nothing’s changed.” — Bruce Wayne
You’re a business nerd, probably. So am I. So is the CFO team. We get excited about S-1 filings and hostile takeover bids, KPIs and OKRs, earnings surprises, and 8Ks. And don’t even get me started on stalking horses.
It’s a delightful nerdiness that we listen in on at in-person events and in our interviews with finance chiefs. You can hear the passion in their voices as they "talk shop." And it is always with integrity and honesty.
And yet...
There is that part of us that enjoys observing those who flirt with danger and the seedy side of industry.
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When we seek entertainment, are we more drawn to Leo DiCaprio’s portrayal of con artist Frank Abagnale or Tom Hanks’ FBI agent Carl Hanratty from the film “Catch Me if You Can”?
Learning to be an effective storyteller, as Stretto CFO Peter Bonfiglio says, is the “CFO is both the interpreter of financial history and the guide to future results,” or explaining the past so future decisions make sense with commensurate buy-in.
But then we come across stories such as reporter Adam Zaki’s on an ex-CFO who bilked a private K-12 school for millions. Or senior reporter-at-large Vincent Ryan’s more wonky, but likely more costly, story on electric vehicle manufacturer Lordstown Motors’ defense against the SEC for misleading supply chain statements. These stories are just a little spicier.
Even in my own personal experience, I created a private Slack channel to highlight white-collar malfeasance and the sheer chutzpah some executives display for ill-begotten gains. And in my own six degrees of notoriety, my very first job involved working at a company that was started by Ivan Boesky’s former CFO.
Ultimately, it’s fun to fantasize about being a part of Danny Ocean’s crew, where every criminal move and counter-move works out perfectly, all with Debussy’s Clair de Lune playing in your personal soundtrack.
But, more likely than not, the misfortunes of ex-CFOs like David Ostrove (the aforementioned K-12 school executive) are closer aligned to the Elmore Leonard variety of criminals — an Arnold Palmer-sweet mixture of irrational confidence and base stupidity. Maybe Ocean will get away, but more likely than not, the other shoe usually drops.